Tom's excuse 湯姆的借口

Teacher: Tom, why are you late for school every day?

Tom: Every time I come to the corner, a sign says, School-Go Slow.

老師：湯姆，您為什么每天上學(xué)遲到？

湯姆：我每次路過拐角，一個(gè)路標(biāo)上面寫著：學(xué)校----慢行。

I can not see it at all 我根本就看不見

After supper, the parents were busy playing mah-jong with the guests. At this point the mother thought of something and said to her son who was watching TV, "Honey, go see if the kitchen light is on or not?" After a while, her son returned and said, "Ma, the kitchen is so dark that I cannot see it at all."

晚飯后，父親和母親都忙著和客人玩麻將，這時(shí)母親忽然想起點(diǎn)兒事來，便對(duì)正在看電視的兒子說道：“寶貝，去看看廚房里的燈是不是還開著呢？” 過了一會(huì)兒，兒子回來說：“媽，廚房里太黑了，我根本就看不見。”

 Who is Stupid 誰愚蠢

A teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks you're stupid, stand up!"

Little Johnny then stood up.

The teacher said, "Do you think you're stupid, Johnny?"

"No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!"

一個(gè)老師在對(duì)學(xué)生們講心理學(xué)，“誰認(rèn)為自己蠢就站起來？”她一開始就說。

小約翰尼站了起來。

“你認(rèn)為你很蠢嗎，小約翰尼？”老師問。

“不是的，老師，我只是不喜歡看你一個(gè)人站著。”

Lost Purse 丟失的錢包

A lady lost her handbag. It was found by an honest little boy and returned to her. Looking in her purse, she commented, "Hmmm.... That's funny. When I lost my bag there was a $20 bill in it. Now there are twenty $1 bills."

The boy quickly replied, "That's right, lady. The last time I found a lady's purse, she didn't have any change for a reward."

一個(gè)女人丟了手提包，有一個(gè)誠實(shí)的小孩撿到后交還給了她。她看了看錢包，說：“嗯，這么有趣，我丟的時(shí)候里面是一張20美元，現(xiàn)在成了20張一美元。”

“沒錯(cuò)，夫人。”小男孩立刻回答道，“上次我撿到錢包時(shí)，那位夫人沒有零錢獎(jiǎng)賞給我。”

I know who god is 我知道上帝是誰了

A boy says to her mother, Mom, is God a man or woman?

The mom thinks a while and says, Well, son, God is both man and woman.

The son is confused, so he asks, Is God black or white?

The mother replies, God is both black and white, honey.

The son, still curious, says after a while, Is God gay or straight, mommy?

The mother, getting a little worried, answers, Son, God is both gay and

 straight.

The son thinks about it, and his face lights up when he thinks he finally has answered his question: Is God Michael Jackson?