兒童英語(yǔ)笑話三

The six-year-old John was terribly spoiled（被寵壞的） . His father knew it, but his grandma doted on him. He hardly left her side. And when he wanted anything, he either cried or threw a temper tantrum（亂發(fā)脾氣） . Then came his first day of school, his first day away from his grandmother's loving arms.

When he came home from school his grandma met him at the door.

Was school all right? she asked, Did you get along all right? did you cry?

Cry? John asked. No, I didn't cry, but the teacher did!

六歲的約翰嬌生慣養(yǎng)。他的父親知道這一點(diǎn)，可他的祖父母仍然寵著他。這孩子幾乎寸步不離他的祖母。他想要什么不是哭，就是鬧。他第一天上學(xué)才離開祖母的懷抱。

約翰放學(xué)了，他奶奶在門口接他并問道：學(xué)校怎么樣？你過的好嗎？哭了沒有？

哭？約翰問，不，我沒哭，可老師哭了。

Who is Stupid 誰(shuí)愚蠢

A teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks you're stupid, stand up!"

Little Johnny then stood up.

The teacher said, "Do you think you're stupid, Johnny?"

"No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!"

一個(gè)老師在對(duì)學(xué)生們講心理學(xué)，“誰(shuí)認(rèn)為自己蠢就站起來？”她一開始就說。

小約翰尼站了起來。

“你認(rèn)為你很蠢嗎，小約翰尼？”老師問。

“不是的，老師，我只是不喜歡看你一個(gè)人站著。”

Lost Purse 丟失的錢包

A lady lost her handbag. It was found by an honest little boy and returned to her. Looking in her purse, she commented, "Hmmm.... That's funny. When I lost my bag there was a $20 bill in it. Now there are twenty $1 bills."

The boy quickly replied, "That's right, lady. The last time I found a lady's purse, she didn't have any change for a reward."

一個(gè)女人丟了手提包，有一個(gè)誠(chéng)實(shí)的小孩撿到后交還給了她。她看了看錢包，說：“嗯，這么有趣，我丟的時(shí)候里面是一張20美元，現(xiàn)在成了20張一美元。”

“沒錯(cuò)，夫人。”小男孩立刻回答道，“上次我撿到錢包時(shí)，那位夫人沒有零錢獎(jiǎng)賞給我。”

I know who god is 我知道上帝是誰(shuí)了

A boy says to her mother, Mom, is God a man or woman?

The mom thinks a while and says, Well, son, God is both man and woman.

The son is confused, so he asks, Is God black or white?

The mother replies, God is both black and white, honey.

The son, still curious, says after a while, Is God gay or straight, mommy?

The mother, getting a little worried, answers, Son, God is both gay and

 straight.

The son thinks about it, and his face lights up when he thinks he finally has answered his question: Is God Michael Jackson?

兒子：媽媽，上帝是白人還是黑人？

媽媽：寶貝，上帝是白人也是黑人！

兒子：那上帝是男人還是女人？

媽媽：寶貝，上帝是男人也是女人！ 

兒子：哦。我知道了，上帝是邁克爾•杰克遜！

His Fault 他的錯(cuò)

Billy: Mother, Bobby poke a window.

Mother: How did he do it?

Billy: I threw a rock at him and he ducked.

比利：媽媽，波比打壞了窗玻璃。

媽媽：他怎么打的？

比利：我向他扔石頭，他躲開了。